The Elephant in the Room

I received a layoff notice a few weeks ago and my heart is broken. I love my job. I love teaching my subject and I love my students like they're my own children. I am anxiously looking forward to the graduation ceremony of my seniors this year (the same kids that were my juniors last year), but dreading the final day of the job I was born to do.

I'm not the only one that received a layoff notice. It's the elephant in the room. I hate how people are treating me differently at work. Instead of getting a cheerful, "Hey, Lauren, how you doin'?" in the teacher's lounge, they've begun to touch me on the shoulder and say, GRIMLY, "How are you these days?" I realized today that I AM the elephant in the room and I HATE HATE HATE it.

My mom said that when layoffs happen, people feel like someone's died and that they can't help sharing their remorse. I know that they're trying to be thoughtful and concerned, but I just don't want to be reminded of my pending unemployment when I'm still trying to do a good job at the job I have right now.

Save the black wreaths for another occasion. I'm terribly sad, but I'm desperately seeking the open window, and I know it's somewhere to be found.